a single act or product of thinking- thoughts on blogging.

Once upon a time I had tan skin and spent my days taking my golden retriever to the beach.

I studied psychology and worked on my “active listening” skills.

I read

I prayed

I drove my 2005 black Honda accord down the 405 freeway daily

 and watched countless hours of reality tv shows on my flat screen tv.

I was young.

I was married.

I had a lot of friends.

Then, in the time it takes to cough,

Or breath,

Or blink..

My life changed.

I moved to England.

I was alone.

In a foreign country.
No tv, car, dishwasher, or clothes dryer..
you know, the necessities...

Just me,

And all the problems that I could fit into my large suitcase.

I started a blog..

This blog.

To document my life..

To hold onto those I left behind..

To tell them my stories in hopes that they wouldn’t forget me..

but some forgot anyway.

And others who once stood on the sidelines of my life came to the forefront.

Then one day..

I met “you”

The world of blogging.

A world where friendships are formed…

Where people come together to encourage, support, and care for one another..

Where comments really say  “you matter”

“I get it”

“me too…”

Even if they don’t say that at all…

I had encountered a world where e-harmony got together with facebook and live-journal and made a baby.

You could write about your day, while peering into other people's lives,

And get to know them on a deeper level,

All the while connecting from another country where you don’t quite fit in.

While in England i found myself at a crossroads..

where my world had changed again..

I thought about closing my blog down..

My life had become too controversial..

My real life friends were giving me the side eye..

What would those who didn’t “know me” say?

And then I wrote it down..

And hundreds of people stepped in..

To offer their unyielding support.

E mails, comments, care packages..

From all over the world.

Saying “you matter”

I don’t always blog the “deep thoughts of the day”

Because in a world where there is so much hate and evil broadcasted over the internet and television daily…sometimes it's nice to read or write a “I thought this outfit was cute” post..

No matter how superficial or mind numbing it may be.

There are moments where I use this blog as an outlet..a diary..

And moments where id rather look at the funny/random aspects of my life and jot it down in hopes it makes someone else smile that day.

There are moments where I use this blog to connect people..

As a way of paying it forward..

Because I have been lucky enough to meet women that I would call my best friends through blogging..

And maybe…hopefully.. you will too…

I find it amazing that when I move back to the states..

No matter which state I move to..

I will mostly like “know” one person living there.

Everyone has their own views and opinions of this space we claim on the web..

How we should run it, how much time we should spend on it, sponsoring, commenting, photographs,  anonymous writers, design, giveaways, etc…

I've let some people recently make me question why I am here..

How I run my piece of this puzzle..

And then I sat down to write thank you cards..
(real ones..with an old fashioned pen and paper)

To those who have sent me care packages..

And I realised I was writing notes to people who have never met me..

Girls who have taken time out of their day and  money out of their wallets to send me my favourite American snacks or a “just because” gift.

Not because I asked..

Or because I require all of my friends to send me gifts..

(just some..)

But because through blogging we have made connections that transcend the bounds of the blogspot.com

In our sorrow, joy, and top buns..we’ve found friendship..

And maybe we’ve found ourselves too.

This is why I blog.